Adventures in Finding a Relationship: A Tale of One Introvert

Okay something is definitely up. Ever since I went home for New Year's, I have been behaving quite out of character. It could be some sort of New Year's Resolution or it could just be I was tired of being alone. I spent the last semester taking some real stock on myself as a person: did I feel complete? was there something else I wanted to do? were there things that I missed about myself? who are my friends and what kind of relationships do I want? Just the usual self-reflection.

So I started on New Year's Day doing something I thought I would never do and I do mean never. Because of my personality (that INFP), I am not out on the prowl trying to find a girlfriend. In fact, I loathe bars and dance establishments and avoid them like the plague. So what did I end up doing to myself. Well I joined (or should I say was strongly encouraged to get my social life in gear) an on-line dating site where you post the kind of girl you want to meet. One of my already-in-a-relationship female friends bluntly told me she was tired of seeing me in my books and all alone.

So now I am looking at the posts, and I was quite shocked. The mix of girls/women (look I am not going to get into a feminist argument right now about the use of these words) was astonishing - freaks, shy, bold, slutty, sincere, compassionate, outdoor types, etc. And there is this whole new lingo I had to learn like LTR, NSA, and DDF. There are of course the spy bots and spam producers out there. I myself fell pray to this by not trusting my instincts. I won't do that again.

But wait, it didn't end there. I actually got some replies back and a picture. Talk about getting butterflies in your stomach. I wasn't really sure if this whole thing was real, but it was weird for a change to be making connections in a way I had never before. I am definitely not the one in the center of the room trying to grab attention. Hitting on a girl is not one of the skills that I would call mastered. Yeah you would have better luck with words like virgin, naive, or newbie. Now I am not a submissive type as many of my friends can attest, but I have always liked a girl who wanted a partner rather than a superior. She needs to feel okay making the first move on something or will both stand still.

There is more to come as I relay my adventures in MySpace. Apparently one of the replies I got asked for this, and I had been avoiding that system for some time. She was shocked that I didn't have one so I said WTF. Tell you about it soon...

There's No Such Thing as Global Warming, Right?

Okay seriously, I don't want to here from the naysayers out there. As you know, our President has said that there is no such thing as global warming. In fact, he has done so far as to instruct the EPA that they don't need to worry about it anymore (ha ha). So last night I am hearing on CNN and the Weather Channel that the northeast is perplexed by the above average temperatures. This comes right off the announcement late last month that a major ice shelf broke of one of the poles in 2005. So why should we even care?

Well we just had to back-to-back blizzards in Colorado. Then this morning, the same news channels I mentioned above were informing us that there has been devastating thunderstorms and tornadoes ravaging the south. Well I'm no expert but maybe something is up. Now I am not sure whether people want to say it is a sign of the
apocalypse or God just stretching his finger or maybe the CIA did it...well okay maybe it was Bigfoot.

Perhaps it is something more rationale. Maybe we are putting out more pollutants and toxins into our environment then anytime in the history of civilization. Or perhaps its just that we have been doing a whole heck of a lot more since 2001. Whatever your political leanings, you've got to admit we have been getting some weird weather patterns lately. Don't even get me started on the heat and humidity here in Texas. I know that isn't unusual, but we seem to be getting more of it.

Miss Nevada and Friends: In Full Color

Okay you have got to see this. So some of you may have remembered all of the hullabaloo about Miss USA and Miss Nevada. Well the Donald was willing to give Miss USA another chance despite doing drugs, drinking while underage, and kissing Miss Teen USA. But why oh why did Miss Nevada lose her crown.

Click here to see exactly why. WARNING: graphic content. She exposes almost everything, kisses, drinks, etc. Nice! No drugs though. But it was really her two friends that made the scene memorable. Wow the one with that nice baby blue top was absolutely amazing. Unfortunately, the owners of the blog won't let people post pictures on their own blogs. Something about legal action or some such. I guess they are trying to make a buck too.

The rumor is that it was one of the girls in the pictures who sent the photos to the media. Hmm you have to wonder if she somehow thought Miss Nevada was not a very good role model or just wanted to make money off some raunchy pictures. Well she tried really hard to get them taken off by saying she was 17 at the time, but she later had to retract that statement when she counted to 19. Oops.

Home for the Holidays

I just finished a day with family. I am in Big D right now celebrating the rest of the holiday. Since I finished all my work until January 2, I have now turning my attention to interview transcriptions. After buying a new cassette recorder for my dad to help, I sat down and got two 60+ minute tapes done in twelve hours. Whom who buys cassette tape recorders anymore. You know they girl at the Circuit City was given me a hassle about why I don't want to go digital. And then just now, my mom couldn't figure out how to pause a movie on the DVR.

I guess we are still blending the old world of analogue with the new digital world when doing qualitative research. I can't imagine if my faculty would even consider the value of blogs or recording using a laptop. Now don't get me wrong, I don't necessarily thing of them as old, but I just don't think many of them realize the technology that today's college students are into. Even more and more graduates students are also getting myspace or facebook accounts.

Well what did I learn from my interviews today. Well participant number seven pointed out two really important things about the law school. First, she pointed out that the law school seems to be a fairly segregated environment with subgroups that remain fairly isolated. She also mentioned that the each law student could benefit from an academic advisor. Hmm, right now I am getting distracted by The Matador. The hit man failed to facilitate properly. Anyway I think I will be able to get another two cassettes done tomorrow.

INFP, Stereotypes, and the Prejudice of One Woman

If there is a single word that defines this type, it is idealist. As Introverted Feelers, they discover their ideals through a subjective interpretation of the world, and put those ideals to use to help others in a variety of ways. They are often the "Joans (or Johns) of Arc" who seek fulfillment through performing noble service to aid society. Of course there is the issue that male INFP's are not always viewed by ladies as very masculine guys.

Male INFPs can be seen by others as too gentle or even wimpy. The INFPs' generally passive, live-and-let-live exterior, however admirable, may lack the take-charge quality often associated with maleness - until they feel that their value system is threatened, that is. Then, the easygoing ways (of male and female INFPs alike can give way to harsh rigidity). For co-workers, friends, and mates who don't understand this characteristic, the INFP can seem, at best, a source of mixed signals - flexible one moment, rigid the next - and, at worst, a deep, complex, even somewhat melancholy person who is hard to understand.

So perhaps we do not fit into the stereotypical version of male that women sometimes develop. Now, if masculinity is broadened a little more, many INFPs could fit. We are committed to values of integrity, loyalty, a sense of honor, etc. We may not always be the strongest, hottest, most confident males out there, but we will always have the advantage in understanding others. Doesn't this trump stereotypical masculinity? So for the person whom this note was meant for (and she knows who she is) maybe the preconceived vision of a man you grew up with should be reevaluated.

The Great Glass Elevators

I can't believe I set foot back in that building again. It was this morning. A sunny but very cold day and my dad needed to get his watch. The place was the Dallas World Trade Center (no not the one in New York). Ever since my parents started their antique business here in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, they became members of the WTC. So why would I be so apprehensive about this place? Well it was 2001 and I was expected to complete a task that usually accompanies graduation from law school. You guessed it. I had to the take the State of Texas Bar Exam.

So there we were parking and going inside the building. It was much quieter than I remember but the floor number was unmistakable - 12th floor. Interestingly enough this building does have a 13th floor. What could have been. I have always been apprehensive about this place because of the 2 1/2 days that occurred that July. I remember leaving that building every day as the test went on feeling nauseous. Not to mention that I had to take the large glass elevators to get up there.

I don't know why, but I have always felt anxiety in elevators. Of course I am not afraid of heights. I don't mind being up in high environments. I have climbed mountains and enjoyed the views. What I don't like is the potential that I might fall. That the cables will break and I will plunge down out of control. Perhaps some counselor or psychiatrist will analyze that and say, "Hmm. That's interesting!" I think it is because those devices represent one of the ultimate moments when you have no control over the situation.

Well we made it out okay. I even learned that the place was even larger than I originally imagine. There are also some great jewelry shops on the floor we were on. They even measure, cut, and set there own items on-site. We later went to Central Market and Fiesta. We were in search of Turrón de Alicante my mom’s favorite dessert from Spain.

Four Interviews in Two Days

Wow. What a whirlwind couple of days. I just drove back yesterday to Dallas to spend the holidays with my parents. I was originally planning to drive back around 3 PM, but as luck would have it the tenth and final person I needed to interview called me and agreed to do it that day. So I completed 6 of 10 interviews during this week. I am sitting here watching Beverly Hills Cop II while I am typing this. I keep forgetting how intense interviewing another person can be.

The first time I did two in one day left me so tired and drained. This week I did two on Thursday and two on Friday. These last four were so rich with information. They were exactly the stories I needed to hear. Last night when I got home, I remember having not eaten all day so I managed to eat some chicken salad (yes that I actually made), but then I passed out in a chair. When my parents got home from a party they were still pretty alert. But I could not remember what my mom was trying to say about the party.

So what did I learn over two days that made me so stressed out. It can be really intense when you hear words like terror, personal hell, stress, and panic used to describe the first year of an educational experience. Hey did you know that Chris Rock was in Beverly Hills Cop II? Since these are all individuals who are first in their family to go, it is understandable that they might use these rather concerning psychological terms. I know for me it brought back some intense memories for me about my higher education experiences.

Can't wait until January 17.