The Great Glass Elevators

I can't believe I set foot back in that building again. It was this morning. A sunny but very cold day and my dad needed to get his watch. The place was the Dallas World Trade Center (no not the one in New York). Ever since my parents started their antique business here in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, they became members of the WTC. So why would I be so apprehensive about this place? Well it was 2001 and I was expected to complete a task that usually accompanies graduation from law school. You guessed it. I had to the take the State of Texas Bar Exam.

So there we were parking and going inside the building. It was much quieter than I remember but the floor number was unmistakable - 12th floor. Interestingly enough this building does have a 13th floor. What could have been. I have always been apprehensive about this place because of the 2 1/2 days that occurred that July. I remember leaving that building every day as the test went on feeling nauseous. Not to mention that I had to take the large glass elevators to get up there.

I don't know why, but I have always felt anxiety in elevators. Of course I am not afraid of heights. I don't mind being up in high environments. I have climbed mountains and enjoyed the views. What I don't like is the potential that I might fall. That the cables will break and I will plunge down out of control. Perhaps some counselor or psychiatrist will analyze that and say, "Hmm. That's interesting!" I think it is because those devices represent one of the ultimate moments when you have no control over the situation.

Well we made it out okay. I even learned that the place was even larger than I originally imagine. There are also some great jewelry shops on the floor we were on. They even measure, cut, and set there own items on-site. We later went to Central Market and Fiesta. We were in search of Turrón de Alicante my mom’s favorite dessert from Spain.

Coffee? Tea? A Beverage of Some Sort?

I notice that people don't know how to handle my intensity toward things that excite me. I get even worse when I drink coffee. I've had to learn who is okay to act like that around, and who I have to temper my emotions with. I had to give up coffee drinking only sugar-free and caffiene free alternatives. I am sure for my TJ friends and loved ones, I can be down right exhausting. I've learned how to temper myself a little, but it usually results in me becoming more introverted. I feel calmer and stable with INTJ/ISTJ types, because they provide balance.

People who have mood swings, tend to lecture me, don't hold the same ethical principles, or like to argue constantly create a lot of stress for me, because it creates powerful emotions internally that I usually can't express outwardly. I don't like it. I try to adopt the "pick your battles" philosophy because conflict wears me out. Unfortunately, the field I have chosen and getting hired for jobs that place me in a position to manage people really tends to take its toll. I never feel like myself when I am at work, large gatherings, or school. I turn into a passive-aggressive jerk and then go home feeling horribly guilty. It is tough when choices we make (or are forced to make) conflict with our inner nature.