INFP, Stereotypes, and the Prejudice of One Woman

If there is a single word that defines this type, it is idealist. As Introverted Feelers, they discover their ideals through a subjective interpretation of the world, and put those ideals to use to help others in a variety of ways. They are often the "Joans (or Johns) of Arc" who seek fulfillment through performing noble service to aid society. Of course there is the issue that male INFP's are not always viewed by ladies as very masculine guys.

Male INFPs can be seen by others as too gentle or even wimpy. The INFPs' generally passive, live-and-let-live exterior, however admirable, may lack the take-charge quality often associated with maleness - until they feel that their value system is threatened, that is. Then, the easygoing ways (of male and female INFPs alike can give way to harsh rigidity). For co-workers, friends, and mates who don't understand this characteristic, the INFP can seem, at best, a source of mixed signals - flexible one moment, rigid the next - and, at worst, a deep, complex, even somewhat melancholy person who is hard to understand.

So perhaps we do not fit into the stereotypical version of male that women sometimes develop. Now, if masculinity is broadened a little more, many INFPs could fit. We are committed to values of integrity, loyalty, a sense of honor, etc. We may not always be the strongest, hottest, most confident males out there, but we will always have the advantage in understanding others. Doesn't this trump stereotypical masculinity? So for the person whom this note was meant for (and she knows who she is) maybe the preconceived vision of a man you grew up with should be reevaluated.

Coffee? Tea? A Beverage of Some Sort?

I notice that people don't know how to handle my intensity toward things that excite me. I get even worse when I drink coffee. I've had to learn who is okay to act like that around, and who I have to temper my emotions with. I had to give up coffee drinking only sugar-free and caffiene free alternatives. I am sure for my TJ friends and loved ones, I can be down right exhausting. I've learned how to temper myself a little, but it usually results in me becoming more introverted. I feel calmer and stable with INTJ/ISTJ types, because they provide balance.

People who have mood swings, tend to lecture me, don't hold the same ethical principles, or like to argue constantly create a lot of stress for me, because it creates powerful emotions internally that I usually can't express outwardly. I don't like it. I try to adopt the "pick your battles" philosophy because conflict wears me out. Unfortunately, the field I have chosen and getting hired for jobs that place me in a position to manage people really tends to take its toll. I never feel like myself when I am at work, large gatherings, or school. I turn into a passive-aggressive jerk and then go home feeling horribly guilty. It is tough when choices we make (or are forced to make) conflict with our inner nature.

Do You Believe in the MBTI?

Recently, I was reminded of the consequences of my Myers-Briggs Typology (INFP). Such things as conflict avoidance or lacking an objective, decisive attitude causes funny (or frustrating depending on the point of view) moments trying to decide where and what to eat, getting a project completed, or socializing.

Of course now I sort of did finish something. With obsessive compulsive zeal and a lack of rational thought, I just did something incredibly stupid. I am really starting to remember why I do the things I do. Too bad I have yet to get my parents to understand me much less some of my friends. Here is a great little summary I found:

"INFPs… vacillate between two primary desires. Some days, we are monks. We dig up our insides like gardens. We sit by ourselves on the porch and write. We leave parties early to be alone. Other days, we are explorers. We create new projects, foster new ideas. We busy ourselves with hard work. We want to change the world." - Deborah Good, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

I think I find it most frustrating to feel very intensely about specific people or things but fail to express it clearly (if at all). The great potential is the devotion and intense passion I can offer. My weakness is that my idealism makes me prone to dreams, fantasy and the occasional irrational thought. I think that is why I am attracted to TJ types. I think I will make a great husband and parent but a horrible manager or disciplinarian.