Christmas for the Soul

I spend a great deal of time in reflection especially around Christmas. It's funny, when I went to the Trail of Lights on Tuesday, Rebecca, Mario, and I got into a discussion about The Passion of the Christ. Not just about whether or not it was a good movie mind you. As I describe my experience to them, I vividly remember every moment of the pain and torture Jesus endured during the movie. It was an extraordinary vision of what happened in the last 12 hours before his crucifixion, and I remember I could almost feel Jesus' suffering. As I left the theatre, I remember thinking about all those who were less fortunate than me or worse off than me. I immediately wanted to go to Church.

The movie represented one of those symbols that reminds me that I need to do more to remain unselfish. I have always tried to do good and be a decent human being. Usually I am looking out for everyone else's needs. This of course means that I am not looking out for me most of the time because I never feel like I am doing enough for others. Consequently, I try bottle up any feelings or ideas about my happiness or success.

This works very well most of the time, but there are still a few moments when even I break. There are very few things I can say I want in my life - a wife, children, and a sense of completeness. Of course life doesn't come with an instruction manual only free will and faith. Because very few moments have ever come along when I feel I can have one of these things, I go after it with such intensity and feel it so completely it's as if my entire being is afire. Because of my introverted tendencies, passion and reason become out of balance.

This past week I expressed my feelings to someone (well in writing at least). But now I am reeling from guilt. While I believe and have faith that my feelings for her were true, my words more than likely came across as too intense. I haven't been able to shake the feeling that there was a better way. I do know where I will be spending my time this week asking for guidance and seeking penance.

Pacers-Pistons v. Knicks-Nuggets

Okay. I was not watching the game live but I did catch the replay on ESPN. Leave to that network to continue hyping up events to mega proportions. What a bunch of media whores. Now I do think that the Pacers-Pistons brawl was worse because fans got involved and players were hitting fans. In this incident, I think the worst that I probably saw was the part were there were four on one just off court. I think they are probably going to get the worst of any penalties.

So what is David Stern to do? As he continues his one man crusade to push uptight, upper-class etiquette in the sport of basketball, one can only wonder what he must be thinking. First, he began the season with giving T fouls to everyone in sight (even franchise players were not immune). Then there was the leather-synthetic fiasco which he has now apparently flip-flopped on. He is becoming unpredictable just like what can happen on the court.

Wait a minute, I thought we didn't like flip-floppers. We elected our current president because his opponent did this. Maybe we will see more leniency but don't hold your breath. I think we are going to see 30 game suspensions as he tries to appease whatever the hell candy-ass constituency keeps pushing for PC behavior in sports. What is he thinking? This is sports. Where grown men or women are competing to win. Human nature says there is going to be emotions and you can't always predict what happens next.

Quote of the Day

"Now listen up, you primitive screwheads. See this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You *got* that?" - Ash (Bruce Campbell) from Army of Darkness (1992)